Thursday, September 25, 2014

I didn't realize how much I longed for connection until I had none.


As midnight drew closer, tensions arose. I felt as though I was going on vacation. Some far away destination, rarely traveled. I thoughtfully sent out early birthday wishes, wrote down my fb events for the week and deleted all social media apps from my iphone. What was I getting myself into?!

It's funny because shortly after announcing my leave - my schedule quickly booked solid! Books, film, music, writing and spending time with family and friends happily filled my days. I can't say it enough, Nothing compares to hearing someone's voice or looking deep into their eyes. These are things I took for granted. Things I didn't even notice I missed. We become content with half-hearted conversations on tiny phone screens. Avoiding being fully engaged because these days it's socially acceptable. I can no longer accept that kind of illusion. I want to see, feel and hear the emotion in every interaction! I love that my friends played along... calling to chat and I especially enjoyed listening to them struggle to leave voicemails. I feel as though my little experiment carried its way into their worlds.

"I know you're doing a no text thing, so I'm calling you with an actual telephone call and leaving you an actual voicemail...
like I'm your parents... or something?"

Texting and social media have always been a large part of my life. I'm a quiet girl and I used these outlets as a crutch growing up. Sometimes it's easier to hide behind a screen - Or so I told myself, in hopes of justifying my introverted ways. Truth be told I love being an introvert! I love the way my imagination runs wild with creativity. The passionate yet private world I carry close to my heart. I remember walking to my car one morning, listening to the thunder roll in. I could feel it rumbling beneath my toes. The way it spread across the sky, blanketing the clouds. I was overwhelmed with unexpected sensations! My "on-the-go" lifestyle was sadly stealing my greatest joy - to fully FEEL each waking moment. Being connected 24/7 distracted me from contemplating and digging deeper...


It feels good to slow down.


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